Psychic Downloads: The discovery of my gifts.
This may be hard to believe but at one time I was not into all this spiritual stuff. I knew I had some sort of gifts ever since I was a little girl but the world has a way of teaching us that its not okay to be who we truly are.
We get teased and bullied in school, we show up as ourselves and get rejected, our parents and caregivers teach us to be good kids by conforming to whatever society deems as “normal”and act in a way that is “acceptable”.
And don’t get me wrong, our parents and caregivers have the best intentions when doing this but what they do not realize is by not letting your kids be who they truly are and allow them to express their unique gifts you are slowly killing their soul and robbing the world of something amazing. That might be a little melodramatic but I really want to get that point across.
Anyway, I get asked all of the time “have you always been psychic?” Or “when did you know you were a psychic medium?” And no matter how many times I get asked this question I seem to never be able to give a good answer. For one thing, it's complicated and there is no clear and concise answer. But more importantly, according to Myers-Briggs, I am a story teller by nature so to sum it up in a quick answer is nearly impossible for me. So I wanted to take the time in this blog post to write the true answers, or what feels true to me in my heart, to those questions by telling my story.
Have you always been psychic?
Short answer: Yes I have always been psychic and have had medium abilities; however, I didn't always know it.
Storytime.
When I get asked this question I always think hindsight is 20/20. I have memories from my childhood that I look back on and realize that I was getting “psychic downloads” as I like to call them.
One memory I can very vividly recall was when I was about 7 years old and my mom was driving with me and my favorite cousin were in the back seat (you know who you are wink wink). I am not sure how it got brought up but my cousin asked my mom why our Aunt always had bruises on her.
I could tell, looking back, that my mom was caught off guard. She began explaining that our Aunt is very clumsy and bumping into things. Then she went on this tangent about bout how our Aunt is constantly exercising and that’s the reason for the bruises.
As I sat there and listened to her ramble, out of nowhere, I heard myself say “no mommy that’s not true, Uncle so and so hurts her.” (His name is not so and so btw but for privacy purposes that’s what we will call him)
I will never forget the look on my moms face. She turned around to look at me and said “how do you know that.”
“I just know.” I replied
“Well you can’t go around saying things like that, that’s not true, your Aunt is clumsy and that is all.”
The rest of the car ride was silent.
Looking back on this story now I knew my mom meant well. She was trying to protect her sister and domestic violence is not a topic you want your 7 something year old to know about so I totally get it. But the damaging thing is I was right, I had known what was really happening, and my mom told me I was wrong. That event alone wasn’t enough to make me stop trusting myself, but over time and with repetition my parents constantly denied my gifts and so at one point I learned to stop trusting them and myself.
Fast forward to my late 20’s, I was going through one of the most difficult periods of my life. I was so lost and unsure that my friend suggested I see her friend who was a psychic and life coach. There was a lot said in that session but I remember her telling me that I was gifted and has anyone ever told me I was psychic before. I remembered I had heard this before but kind of brushed it off.
It has been 6 years since that session that marked the beginning of my super transformative spiritual journey.
In that time I have done a ton of healing. I have relearned how to trust myself and tapped back into my psychic gifts that I had shut off for so long.
About 4 years into that journey, after I had been practicing with psychic tarot readings for friends and family members for fun, I began having dead relatives coming through and delivering messages. The more readings I did, the more my mediumship muscle got worked and BOOM I realized I was also a medium…..who knew?
So to the “when did you know that you were a medium question” the true answer is I don’t really know. When I was really young and my parents were still together (they divorced when I was about 6-7), we lived in a house where a murder suicide happened between a married couple. I remember in that house I had a young male spirit friend hanging around, I can’t remember his name, but when I told my parents about him they thought it was so cute that I had an imaginary friend. So that’s what I thought it was, me making things up in my head.
Now I know it was me communicating with the dead. I have to note, I have talked to other psychics and mediums and their stories are very different from mine. Most of them saw dark spirits and dark things and things that scared them. Fortunately, that has never been my experience. In fact, I have always loved talking to spirits! In elementary school, I remember being at my grandfather’s funeral and as I looked around I saw not a dry eye in the place, except for mine. I didn’t understand why everyone was crying. I wanted to laugh and thought “he’s right here, there is no reason to be sad.” How do I know that, I thought. Then I heard that voice in me say again “I just know.”
